*** The post is dedicated to my father's memory. I would also like to thank Housing.com for having given me the opportunity to write about togetherness. More can be found about them here ***
So often we tend to neglect or fail to give enough time to our loved ones because we are busy running after materialistic things. Things are different when we are kids, when we are very young, our world revolves around our parents, our nearest family and our friends. But that tends to slowly change as we start growing up. Our priorities change and even without us knowing, we tend to slowly move away from our family and friends. In the bargain however, we loose out on treasuring the love and affection that only our loved ones can give us and not our material wealth! Because of this hunger of ours to acquire wealth, success in career, position and fame in the society, we slowly end up becoming like robots with no emotions. We remain stressed out and often vent out our frustrations on our loved ones.
A similar thing happened with me too a few years back. After my mother's death, I asked my father to come over to my place and start living with me. I couldn't have left him all alone back there. Moreover he was getting older. But he had always been a very simple person and preferred an uncomplicated and quiet life. He wasn't used to the fast, and noisy city life. So he wasn't too fond of Delhi but then he loved me too much to ever complain about it. On the other hand, I had somehow become so absorbed with my work and my own life that I couldn't even realise when I had moved so farther away from him even though we lived under the same roof. I used to work late in the office and so by the time, I came back home, he would have gone to sleep. In the mornings, I used to be in such a hurry to leave for my office that we hardly ever got to talk with each other, not even for a few minutes on the breakfast table. My father was watching silently but never complained to me. He would keep sitting on the arm chair looking at my mother's portrait on the wall, as if he was silently conversing with her. I had neevr noticed this before.
Then on the fateful morning, which happened to be a holiday, I had decided to sleep late into the afternoon, after all the hard work in the office the previous night. Unfortunately Shilpi, my maid, hadn't come that morning. Since I was still sleeping, so Baba decided to make his tea himself. He made tea for me too and also made suji halwa (he still remembered how much I love suji halwa) and a few chapattis. Let me tell you that my father is a tremendous cook and he often used to help my mother in the kitchen. But ever since her death, he had lessened his visits to the kitchen. I remember even when I used to be a small kid, how he used to sometimes treat me with his bread omelette and milk shake on Sundays. That day too, he had prepared the breakfast for me with all his love and came into my room to wake me up. But I was so stressed out because of my work-related problems from the previous night, that I literally shouted at him for waking me up early. "Who told you to go to the kitchen and prepare all these? Why can't you sit quietly in your room and let others do their job? This is Shilpi's work and she will do this, not you", I shouted at him.
He felt pained but didn't say anything to me, instead he just left the breakfast on the bed table and quietly left the room. A few minutes later, I realised what a grave mistake I had committed. He was the same person who had always patiently heard me and used to answer each and every silly question that I put to him when I was young. He had always treated me like a princess whereas I had hurt him immensely even though he was only being affectionate towards me. I felt guilty about my conduct. Immediately I ran to his room and hugged him tightly and apologised for my behaviour. Well, I was always his darling daughter and so he forgave me instantly. I freshened up and then we had the breakfast that he had prepared for me. The suji halwa tasted so good, and why wouldn't it have? He had put in all his love into it! We had our tea together and we talked about my childhood days and reminisced of our old times, we remembered my mother too.
Since it was a holiday and i didn't have to go to the office, so I decided to cook lunch for us. I made his favourite meal that day - rajma chawal, raita and kheer. I wanted to make him feel special. After having lunch together, we also sat down to watch one of our favourite movies - Jaane Bhi Do Yaron - that was being shown on a particular TV channel. I would have watched this movie probably a hundred times but watching it with Baba was something different. Because it was him who had shown me this movie for the first time when I was a kid. We also went out for a walk in the park in the evening and while coming back, we decided to have dinner at a restaurant. He used to love Mughlai food and so we went to old Delhi and had a nice dinner. This was some three years ago. My father passed away last year. Now when I look back to the days that i spent with him, I wish I had given more time than I did. But once a person is gone forever, however much we may want to, we don't get a chance to correct our mistakes. Though I didn't get to spend as much time with him as that particular day but after that fateful day, I made sure that I gave him enough of my time when I was at home and made him smile. That days shall remain as one of my most memorable days ever.
We often tend to forget that it's only for our loved ones that we are working so hard. It is of no use if we aren't able to give them enough time. It's not our wealth and luxuries that would make them happy, rather it's our love and time that they wish to have more. One doesn't need grand gestures to make someone feel special. Make your loves ones your first priority and give them time. value your relationships, devote time to improving them, rather than running after worldly possessions.
So often we tend to neglect or fail to give enough time to our loved ones because we are busy running after materialistic things. Things are different when we are kids, when we are very young, our world revolves around our parents, our nearest family and our friends. But that tends to slowly change as we start growing up. Our priorities change and even without us knowing, we tend to slowly move away from our family and friends. In the bargain however, we loose out on treasuring the love and affection that only our loved ones can give us and not our material wealth! Because of this hunger of ours to acquire wealth, success in career, position and fame in the society, we slowly end up becoming like robots with no emotions. We remain stressed out and often vent out our frustrations on our loved ones.
A similar thing happened with me too a few years back. After my mother's death, I asked my father to come over to my place and start living with me. I couldn't have left him all alone back there. Moreover he was getting older. But he had always been a very simple person and preferred an uncomplicated and quiet life. He wasn't used to the fast, and noisy city life. So he wasn't too fond of Delhi but then he loved me too much to ever complain about it. On the other hand, I had somehow become so absorbed with my work and my own life that I couldn't even realise when I had moved so farther away from him even though we lived under the same roof. I used to work late in the office and so by the time, I came back home, he would have gone to sleep. In the mornings, I used to be in such a hurry to leave for my office that we hardly ever got to talk with each other, not even for a few minutes on the breakfast table. My father was watching silently but never complained to me. He would keep sitting on the arm chair looking at my mother's portrait on the wall, as if he was silently conversing with her. I had neevr noticed this before.
Then on the fateful morning, which happened to be a holiday, I had decided to sleep late into the afternoon, after all the hard work in the office the previous night. Unfortunately Shilpi, my maid, hadn't come that morning. Since I was still sleeping, so Baba decided to make his tea himself. He made tea for me too and also made suji halwa (he still remembered how much I love suji halwa) and a few chapattis. Let me tell you that my father is a tremendous cook and he often used to help my mother in the kitchen. But ever since her death, he had lessened his visits to the kitchen. I remember even when I used to be a small kid, how he used to sometimes treat me with his bread omelette and milk shake on Sundays. That day too, he had prepared the breakfast for me with all his love and came into my room to wake me up. But I was so stressed out because of my work-related problems from the previous night, that I literally shouted at him for waking me up early. "Who told you to go to the kitchen and prepare all these? Why can't you sit quietly in your room and let others do their job? This is Shilpi's work and she will do this, not you", I shouted at him.
He felt pained but didn't say anything to me, instead he just left the breakfast on the bed table and quietly left the room. A few minutes later, I realised what a grave mistake I had committed. He was the same person who had always patiently heard me and used to answer each and every silly question that I put to him when I was young. He had always treated me like a princess whereas I had hurt him immensely even though he was only being affectionate towards me. I felt guilty about my conduct. Immediately I ran to his room and hugged him tightly and apologised for my behaviour. Well, I was always his darling daughter and so he forgave me instantly. I freshened up and then we had the breakfast that he had prepared for me. The suji halwa tasted so good, and why wouldn't it have? He had put in all his love into it! We had our tea together and we talked about my childhood days and reminisced of our old times, we remembered my mother too.
Since it was a holiday and i didn't have to go to the office, so I decided to cook lunch for us. I made his favourite meal that day - rajma chawal, raita and kheer. I wanted to make him feel special. After having lunch together, we also sat down to watch one of our favourite movies - Jaane Bhi Do Yaron - that was being shown on a particular TV channel. I would have watched this movie probably a hundred times but watching it with Baba was something different. Because it was him who had shown me this movie for the first time when I was a kid. We also went out for a walk in the park in the evening and while coming back, we decided to have dinner at a restaurant. He used to love Mughlai food and so we went to old Delhi and had a nice dinner. This was some three years ago. My father passed away last year. Now when I look back to the days that i spent with him, I wish I had given more time than I did. But once a person is gone forever, however much we may want to, we don't get a chance to correct our mistakes. Though I didn't get to spend as much time with him as that particular day but after that fateful day, I made sure that I gave him enough of my time when I was at home and made him smile. That days shall remain as one of my most memorable days ever.
We often tend to forget that it's only for our loved ones that we are working so hard. It is of no use if we aren't able to give them enough time. It's not our wealth and luxuries that would make them happy, rather it's our love and time that they wish to have more. One doesn't need grand gestures to make someone feel special. Make your loves ones your first priority and give them time. value your relationships, devote time to improving them, rather than running after worldly possessions.
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