What should one do if she knows that "the one because of whom she is in such excruciating pain, the one because of whom she is dying each moment in an unending cycle, is the only one in this world who can cure her of all pain... and she has lost him forever... that he can never come back into her life..."
"Move on" is so easily said than done, when I have come so far ahead, so deep in...
There should be some end, some limit to the continuity of one's fight with her own emotions...
What would one do if she fails yet again to get unconscious for a few minutes at least... returns home from work tired, lays on the bed in darkness, closing eyes as tightly as she can, just in the hope of a few minutes of sleep, but is denied even just that, yet again....
Just a few minutes of blankness when she can think of nothing about him.. when she wouldn't be haunted by his memories..
I can neither stay away from your thoughts nor can stop yearning for you...an overpowering longing for you overwhelms me every time
Staying silent to your messages kills me, I want to keep talking to you..all my life ... I don't want to let go of you ever in this life..however little you are there in my life
but I will fail yet again to hold back my emotions before you if I talk.. I will once again affect you and your new life
I want to explode.. I wanna burst out... I want complete freedom from this life, from this cage... I'm trapped within this life... all I want is release...
Am I doomed, to die with pain every day, each moment.. but never to be freed once for all?
You say "like birds, let's leave behind everything what we are not supposed to carry... all sadness, all pain, all regrets & realise that life is beautiful". But is that easy for me?
Yes, I am a pessimist, a defeatist, a gloomy.. but for me, starting anew is no more possible in this life .. I have no more strength left to fight, not anymore.. Dragging on is not what I had hoped for in mercy from my fate