not knowing what to do and where to go....
i honestly want to free you out of my heart, now that you are someone else's .... but had never experienced such a strong pull, such bonding that keeps pulling me back to you, each time that i am trying to keep myself away...
i had never loved this much... had never felt love .... and now i have nothing absolutely nothing left inside me, am totally exhausted now.... All I have now is a complete emptiness within ... I am unable to stop loving you even if I want to...
even when i realise that perhaps you never loved me, you never saw me that way, you cared for me, you have been always so very affectionate towards me but perhaps never had such feelings for me, because i never told you about my feelings... and yet I amn't being able to take out these one-sided feelings of mine... i am failing to give you up .... I am failing to take you out of me ... i still am holding on to you, clinging onto you in my heart... i feel helpless when i try not loving you... i seem to know now no other way but to just keep loving you.

when everyone is saying to stop thinking about you, to stop loving you, to stop dreaming about you... it's hurting like a razor stuck in the neck.... because each minute, all the time, all day long, the only thing i feel like doing is to keep loving you... I have almost forgotten everything else....nothing comes to mind but you...
I have never felt this miserable... this is going nowhere... Now this pain is increasingly getting unbearable, beyond all limits. i have been still failing to take you out of me.. You are now someone else's, and i understand that, i respect that ... i earnestly want to let you free now, to let you lead your life in happiness, to let you enjoy your new life .. but however much i try, I am unable to forget that i still love you.... this heart takes me to you all the time, it knows nothing but to keep loving you...
even when i know, this is now real life, this is no movie..... and yet
whatever i do, i amn't been able to see anything, anyone other than you, you seem to be all around me, everywhere .... i am feeling miserable... totally helpless... am having no control on myself ... this can't be love... this is turning into obsession now... one can't hold one's life, one's happiness tightly if she truly loves him ... i truly love you and i want you to be happiest most at all times ....
but I am unable to find out how to give you up....

i want to sleep again, i want some peace for my eyes now ... I have lost all, lost everything with you ... i want to sleep again ... i want to be like before ....
and yet I don't know how not to love you still .... because even when i try not to love you now, i have forgotten everything else ...whatever i do, i just seem to be loving you ... Your image keeps floating right infront of me, in my eyes, all the time ... how to erase those images from my mind and from my heart....

Why wasn't I made for you? I am not able to bear this pain
I am ready to get used to this pain, i will make it a part of my life but I can't leave you, I can't go away from you

bottled up emotions

I am feeling really choked up... this is getting increasingly difficult each day, bottling up emotions.... faking laughters, losing myself in the crowd...
I have been missing you so much all these months.... I don't know how I could keep myself away from you, how I could hold myself back, it has been very difficult reigning myself back from you since so long, but I am falling weak with each passing day... I may give up some day soon.

bahot miss kar rahi hoon tumhe, bahot yaad arahi hai...
However much i may try, i will never be able to take you out of me, my mind or from my heart!
Every little word that you had said to me, every memory of yours keeps rewinding in my head, keeps looping .... I keep thinking what you had said once, our times spent together
those moments when you had cared for me, loved me ... when you were concerned for me.... even for the smallest of things.
You truly became my angel!
So many days have passed now, and I have been devoid of your affection since so long,
I long to talk to you, I long for your call to come, I long to get an email from you every single day, like I used to get those days.... I know I won't get one now, and yet this heart aches in search of one, at least a few words from you.... no one had loved me, cared for me this much.
People say that with time, almost every relation starts fading.
So many months have passed by now, I haven't talked to you since so long, i haven't heard from you.
yet I feel like my love for you is strengthening more and more with each passing day... probably because I can't love anyone else but you.
When I find you online after days together, it kills me when I am not been able to talk to you.
I had never known that love could be this painful.
Where did I go wrong? I am still not able to see my mistake
I want to go to sleep at night, wake up every day, and breathe knowing, assured that you are truly mine...
I am still confused, about the sudden change in your feelings .... why? I am baffled. But I am n't able to take you out of my mind .... I have n't been able to tame this uncontrollable heart.... I just can't think of anything other than you, at any point of time now a days.
it's definitely hurting not being able to be with you, not being able to empty out my feelings before you....
With each passing day, this strange fear grips me altogether, I fear of losing you forever, to someone else.... i can't think of  that... I can't imagine losing you... it pains me really hard thinking about ever losing you, even when I am n't sure about your feelings ...
I still don't know how and why I fell in love with you in the first place.
Every time I try letting you free and going away from you forever, thias heart of mine just doesn't let me go and I am getting pulled back each time.
I wish I could keep loving you all my life and could have you before my eyes all my life, all the time .... because now more than a part of me resides in you.....